2004-07-28, 2:18 a.m.
So it's like I know I didn't say much tonight it's just. You have no idea what I would of liked to have told you. I just wish I had the opportunity to open up but when everyones fighting for a conversation, well.
But yes, I wasn' well tonight, I don't even know if this the right place to delve into this.
So stepping away from the obvious, ummm, So i'm fairly confident at the moment that i completely fucked over one of my ex-gf's lives from two years ago. And thats a really great feelin, so I had that stuck in the back of my mind all night. It's really doing quite the number on me thinking about this.
what else, I'd like to introduce a friend, or hang out with my friends and her without hearing about how much they like her and asking If I'm over her yet. Not that they care, they'll try whatever they can anyway. In fact when they're whispering shit in my ear as the night progress' it just makes me glad that I have such great friends.
But yes, it's really just that hilarious.
What else, uh I really, really would of liked to talk to her more, it's just for christs sake I can't take it anymore you know. I'd rather hear you were in between arms somewhere than me just waiting around, because the worst part about this, the part I hate the most, is I'm always going to like you. And that drives me insane. Because I've been trying to forget how it feels inside, just because.
...Because like the dramatic boy I am I find myself lying on the floor staring at the ceiling way to often these days.
And things need to start going somewhere or they need to end. So I can move on, or try to. Or something.
I just hate how I have nothing to act upon, cause well shit. I suck at this game. I just wish things were more black and white with you, it seems like it's hard enough trying to figure out up from down let alone what the hell you're thinking.
I just, bleah, I dont know how many other ways I can keep regurgitating this same thought into this entry...
Thank you for the effort tonight, you didn't need to take me out but you did, and I really did appreciate it.
GOOOODDDDD I can't believe I forgot the fucking camera.